The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more faith in the shadow than in the Church.

-- Ferdinand Magellan

Waning moon in Scorpio. Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine referred to her ability to keep secrets as "putting it in the vault," yet a dose of schnapps basically broke the combination? You may feel tiny fingers prying at your most private feelings, and an overly passionate reaction will be thoroughly appropriate. Scorpio, of course, is exempt. But not Pisces. VOC 9 to 10:30 p.m.

"There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons -
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes-"
--Emily Dickinson, ca. 1861

Now, that's not very cheery on this first month of 2001, is it? Ah well, probably appropriate, now that Bush the Younger has come to stay (see entry for Cancer.) When one of my employers asked who the stars looked better for on Inauguration Day, I reluctantly said W. But I can offer you some upgrades in this column - you may notice that my monthly forecast is now covering every day, sometimes clumped two or three at a time, but contiguous daily action, when ya look at it.

Speaking of action, if you're a water sign, this month looks great for all kinds of romance, socializing, charming-those-who-need-be-charmed, and so forth. Air signs need to worry about promising too much, while fire signs are (literally) cooling their jets til Valentine's Day. And earth signs can seem more reliable and competent (which, I know, bores them), but Taurus is in an especially good position to gamble. (I know, you wouldn't dare.)

The most interesting period in the month will be weeks three and four, when Venus and Mars do a hootchie-dance with one another and just dare you to cut in. Leo and Aquarius will wait in vain to be asked, but Sagittarius and Gemini will not hesitate. Huh? (Infatuation comes easily, causes great pleasure, leaves no lasting scars.) Unlike Cathedral Tunes.