by Rudy Cheeks
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm a freshman at college, and it's my first year away from home. I live in
a dorm and have a roommate who sleeps in the nude. I have never slept in the
nude, and have never known anyone who has, so I asked her why she does this.
She told me that she found sleeping without clothes to be very comfortable, and
she suggested that I try it and see if I don't think so, too. I'm wondering if
she's being honest with me, or if she's a lesbian making a come-on. I'm not
about to try sleeping in the nude, because I'm not sure exactly what she's up
to. How should I handle this?
Dear Wary,
Handle it with a shrug and a smile. Many people, both gay and straight, sleep
in the nude. The fact that your roommate told you she finds it comfortable, and
suggested you try it yourself, does not seem to Dr. Lovemonkey to be any kind
of "come-on," just some friendly advice. As to whether or not she's a lesbian,
who knows and who cares? If she'd invited you to sleep in the nude on her face,
I'd say she's probably a lesbian making a come-on. Worry about nothing. You've
gone off to college and will meet all sorts of new people who have different
habits, different ideas, and different pleasures. Appreciate and learn from
them.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm 28, attractive, friendly, and have done very well in my career (I'm a
librarian). I just moved to a new city, and I love my job and the people that I
work with. But I've found that the new friends that I've met, just like my
older friends, are all either married, living with someone, engaged to be
married, etc. I'm not complaining about the happiness of others, but I can't
seem to find anyone to hang out with in social circles that aren't formed
around couples. Any suggestions?
Dear Fifth Wheel,
Your situation is not unusual. There are many, many people in your age and
social group who aren't paired off, and who continue to pursue a social life
that isn't based on the assumption that everyone is a settled down couple.
There are clubs and bars, of course, and all sorts of organizations dedicated
to a wide variety of interests (amateur theater productions, volunteer service
groups, book clubs, square dancing . . . you name it and there's a group). Any
number of strategies could be employed to locate a peer group. In fact, "how do
I meet people?" is one of the most common questions that Dr. Lovemonkey
receives. Read the local newspapers, look for those activities that you're
interested in, and just show up. Good luck.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I've been married for almost 10 years. After about our first year of
marriage, my wife had a one-night stand with a guy that she worked with (I'm
telling you this because I think it has something to do with fair play here).
There's this woman at work that I've been flirting with. Nothing has happened
yet between us, but sometimes, when our co-workers are around, they say stuff
like, "Hey, maybe you two should go get a motel room." She never complains or
says anything in response to this. Even though she's not flirting back with me,
she doesn't seem to mind, and, I think, actually likes the attention. So, I'm
thinking that maybe I should actually make a move. Does she sound up for it, or
do you think I'm just projecting what I want?
-- Interested but Cautious
Dear Interested but Cautious,
Rather than speculating on what's going on in your co-worker's mind, you
should spend some time ruminating on your marriage vows. Dr. Lovemonkey would
give you the green light to proceed with the planned infidelity only if you
tell your wife what you have in mind, and she responds by saying, "Well, seeing
as that I made a mistake once almost 10 years ago, this seems absolutely fair
and reasonable to me." Other than that rather far-fetched scenario, it's my
opinion that you should stop your flirting and start taking your marriage more
seriously. Your attempt to justify this through an earlier infidelity by your
wife is lame and incredible. You don't have a moral leg to stand on.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am 19 years old and very much want to be a movie star, but I'm a size 14.
No matter how hard I try, I can't get my weight down to something that would be
acceptable to Hollywood. I'm big-boned, and even if I could get down to a size
six, I'd have to remain an anorexic. This is the only thing in the world that I
want to do, and I'm so frustrated.
Dear So Big,
Does the word "Roseanne" register with you? How about Queen Latifah? Kathy
Bates? Of course, the best thing you could do is really work on the craft of
acting. This can be quite useful in trying to get a gig as a movie star. In the
meantime, have you noticed the size of Cybill Shepherd's butt lately, or seen
anything with Kirstie Alley in the past few years? It they're a size six, Dr.
Lovemonkey will eat his stethoscope.