God bless the husband and wife team behind www.screenit.com, a site aptly described as " entertainment reviews for parents. " Since 1996, this diligent couple has screened approximately five new films every week, attempting to determine each flick’s suitability for impressionable young minds. Each film is give an assignation from " none " to " extreme " in 15 categories, including " sex/nudity, " " violence, " " bad attitude, " and " profanity. " More impressive, every potentially offensive scene and line of dialogue is arduously detailed. With Screenit.com, parents needn't waste $8 and a couple of hundred brain cells to determine whether their 12-year old daughter should be allowed to go see Freddy Got Fingered. But like many well-intentioned products (think rubber cement or handcuffs), Screenit.com may easily be used to assist the forces of evil and immorality. If one is able to get past Screenit.com's family-friendly design and proclamations of righteous purpose, the site can be an effective ally in finding the most offensive, bloodletting, raucous movies out in theatres.

Imagine this: it's Friday night and you have no idea which movies are supposed to be half-decent; but, you do know that you are in the mood for loads of blood and gore. Simply peruse the summaries until you find a movie that ranks " extreme " in this particular category. Then, scroll down and check out the specific scenes to see if the amount of blood and gore are to your liking. Using this method, I discovered The Forsaken, which contains a scene where " a vampire's skin is partially charred/burned after she comes into contact with a live power line. " Perfect! Still undecided about this fine film? Well, as Screenit.com divulges, The Forsaken also offers a bountiful harvest of sex and nudity.

Screenit.com has other subversive uses as well. Coupling the indecorous state of cinema and Screenit.com's conservative comprehensiveness, pretty much any scene in every movie contains elements that are sexual, violent, or " disrespectful. " Thus, it’s fairly easy to piece together a movie's plot solely through the in-depth descriptions of offensive scenes. So if you're itching to know the fate of Sylvester Stallone's veteran racecar driver Joe Tanto in Driven, but would rather drop the cash elsewhere, Screenit.com is the perfect spoiler.

Even if you’re not interested in movies, the mellifluous wholesomeness of the site’s tone is definitely an amusing contrast to the rather ribald scene descriptions. For example, the review of One Night at McCool's actually uses the phrase " gosh darn " but then goes on to describe a scene discussing " major league pussy " and " fucking you senseless. " It’s slightly upsetting, but mostly hysterical, to think of this poor middle-aged couple sitting through a movie featuring a scene where two characters discuss " women who 'cream' in response to violence " and " a large trash dumpster falls on a person, presumably squashing them to death. "

It is only fair to reiterate that the alleged purpose of Screenit.com is to help people steer clear of today's most violent, gross, and sexual films. Yet, one still wonders … given the site's familiarity with modern society's depravity, mustn't they have suspected that their work would eventually fall into the wrong hands? Regardless of whether your intentions are reputable or ignominious, Screenit.com is a refreshing variation on the typical Internet movie site formula.