E-Mail This Article to a Friend Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes Heidi’s happiness, Joan As Police Woman, and a Pills’ parting BY BRETT MILANO

The word "mysterious" tends to come up a lot when people describe Heidi Saperstein’s stage presence. No question the singer-songwriter/guitarist knows how to use a disarming stare as well as anybody. "I’ve been called mysterious a few times, and part of me has to laugh," she explained over a drink at the Abbey Lounge the day before celebrating the release of her new CD, Zara (Kimchee), at T.T. the Bear’s Place. "I also have an oddball sense of humor, so when I’m on stage, part of me wants to be really crass and make high-pitched, silly noises. But I’d rather be mysterious than obvious."

There are no silly noises on Zara. But there is plenty of pop music that’s emotional, lovingly crafted, and yeah, just a little mysterious. It’s the first real pop effort from Saperstein, who spent much of the ’90s in Shiva Speedway — a bass-less band who anticipated Sleater-Kinney’s brand of bracing punk (and in fact opened one of their first Boston gigs). But Saperstein didn’t sing much in that band, and her first solo effort, The Devil I Once Knew (Kimchee), had the dark tone you’d associate with Thalia Zedek (who guested) and PJ Harvey.

The new disc embraces melody and lush arrangements, with help from local roots figures like bassist Andrew Mazzone and guitarist Duke Levine. At the T.T.’s CD release show last Thursday, Saperstein used a different band — drummer Shawn McLaughlin, bassist Emily Grogan, and Runner & the Thermodynamics guitarist Michael Oor. They helped split the difference between the new album’s lush sound and the previous disc’s rawer leanings. In both cases, her voice — warm and flexible, with a hint of punk aggression — is the star; on the disc, it’s often multi-tracked into layers of harmonies.

"I tried to make a pop record last time, but I’m not sure I accomplished it," she says. "But this time, I can finally listen to the album and not hear anything I’m dissatisfied with. The difference is that I’m probably a more relaxed person than I used to be. So I wanted some good hooks here and there, a number of songs that could conceivably be singles. And I realized a while ago that I really loved singing." The mysterious part is in her lyrics, which allude to a handful of emotional crises without spelling anything out. "Some of it was in response to a relationship I was in, one that wasn’t very satisfying. But it’s not always about that when you think it is. ‘Put Up Lies’ sounds like a relationship song, but it’s really about putting my dog to sleep."

Saperstein was in fact going through some struggles that didn’t have much to do with relationships when she wrote much of Zara. She was the victim of an eating disorder that reached its peak around the time of her last disc. "I was high-functioning, but yes, it was there. An eating disorder is a sickness of the mind, but it becomes about your body. For one thing, I had this bizarre fear of aging, of getting old and having my body change. I felt removed from everyone around me and in some ways very small. There was a point where I was sure I’d never get better, where I’d be no different from this troubled, sad, and extremely food-obsessed and body-size and shape-obsessed person. So I barely went out for a while, and there were a lot of things I wouldn’t do if I thought they’d affect my appearance. And that’s why I didn’t work the last record the way I should have. I wouldn’t let myself lose any sleep, be in smoky clubs all the time, or not get this pristine food that I’d been able to secure."

Neither did it matter when people said nice things about her looks. "It just made me think that I’d fooled everyone, that they thought I was this attractive person and I wasn’t. It’s a pretty warped way of thinking, but even when I felt attractive, my fear was that it would vanish, that I would be unattractive and old. So I avoided challenging myself in terms of performing when I was really desiring to be a working musician. I’d see people around me who were able to go out and do it, and all I could do was feel jealous."

Saperstein doesn’t draw directly on those experiences for the text of the songs on Zara. Even now, she admits that talking about her eating disorder is a challenge. "I do have this fantasy that I can have some power to help other girls and women deal with similar problems. But no, it didn’t come out in the songs — except maybe ‘Bright’ [the disc’s acoustic closer]. It’s not about getting better, but it’s a positive song. Otherwise, I’m prolific: tell me, ‘Write five songs today, Heidi,’ and I’d do it. I’m not good at math, I’m not a good public speaker, but I can do that."

Saperstein is a little nervous about throwing herself back into the rock scene of late nights and club life to support her new album, but she’s also looking forward to it. "I’m excited, I really am. I can’t say I’m totally better, but I know how to handle it now; I’ve had some good therapy. I really don’t take anything for granted; I appreciate every show I do, and I’m finally living the life I want to live." So she’s not worried about getting old and ugly before the next gig? She flashes the mysterious smile. "Not tomorrow, anyway."