" See, Aerosmith have got it made, " Alice Cooper was saying the other day. " They just write about sex. And I’m sure Steven Tyler is as horny today as he was at 17, so they just keep on doing it. They’ve cornered the market on sex. Sex never gets old. " Oh, how right you are, Alice. And what have you cornered the market on? " I don’t think I’d mind being the Vincent Price or Edgar Allan Poe of rock and roll. " There you have it — and if Mr. Cooper ever gets tired of golf and spook rock, we’d be happy to have him in the critics’ union. For the present, Alice takes over the Orpheum (617-931-2000) in Boston tonight (Thursday, November 1) while Aerosmith, with the Cult in tow, take on the sold-out FleetCenter (617-931-2000) in Boston on Sunday and the Dunkin’ Donuts Civic Center (401-331-6700) in Providence on Tuesday.

Absent his father, Femi Kuti remains the reigning giant of Afrobeat funk — or at least Perry Farrell thinks so. Just off a stint opening on the Jane’s Addiction tour, Femi’s at Avalon (617-423-NEXT) in Boston on Monday with the young sacred-steel prodigy Robert Randolph and the Family Band. Randolph, who self-releases a live album this month, headlines his own gig tonight at Pearl Street (413-584-7771) in Northampton and opens for DJ Greyboy at the Higher Ground (802-654-8888) in Winooski, Vermont, next Friday, November 9. Meanwhile Stereolab’s English-art-schooler café pop is ready for Volvo ads on their new Sound-Dust (Elektra). They’re at Avalon on Tuesday with Quasi, who feature Sleater-Kinney’s Janet Weiss and her sad, sad genius ex-husband, Sam Coomes. Quasi headline their own gig on Wednesday at AS220 (401-831-9327) in Providence.

Hippies and blunt smokers, anyone? Widespread Panic play the Orpheum next Thursday, November 8 (moved from the Tsongas Arena in Lowell), and the Mullins Center at UMass-Amherst (413-545-0505) next Friday. And a group from Frank Zappa’s original Mothers of Invention have hit the road as the Grandmothers: keyboardist Don Preston, saxophonist Bunk Gardner, bassist Roy Estrada (who also played in the original line-up of Little Feat), and drummer Billy Mundi. This was the crew who could handle anything Zappa threw at them — which was considerable — going back to the days of Freak Out! and We’re Only in It for the Money. They’re at the Met Café (401-272-5876) in Providence on Friday, at Johnny D’s (617-776-2004) in Somerville on Saturday, and at the Iron Horse (413-584-0610) in Northampton on Sunday. The great, mad dub genius Lee " Scratch " Perry is at Toad’s Place (203-624-8623) in New Haven tonight; Friday he’s at Harpers Ferry (617-254-9743) in Allston with Mad Professor. And alterna-hip-hop’s Pharcyde headline a tour that’s worth going to see for the backpacker-friendly undercard alone: Cali Agents, Pep Love, and Kutmasta Kurt, tonight at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel (401-272-5876) in Providence; Friday at the Palladium (508-797-9696) in Worcester; and Sunday at the Higher Ground.

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