E-Mail This Article to a Friend Department of Social Studies BY TAMARA WIEDER

Navigating the myriad DNC-related events and parties on crutches — obtained as the result of a Hawaiian-vacation mishap (no, I have promised the dozens who’ve asked, it was not a surfing accident, and no, I did not fall off a barstool) is thus far making for fine journalistic fodder, if not exactly a convenient wrench in my convention plans.

At MTV’s Rock the Vote kickoff party at Avalon on Sunday night, for example, I learned that strangers’ compassion for their hobbling fellow party-goers decreases as said strangers’ blood-alcohol levels rise.

Case in point:

At 9 p.m. — "Do you want to sit there? I can move over. Sure, put your crutches here. Can I help you with that?"

At 12:15 a.m. — "Can I move those crutches so I can stand on that?"

"No, she needs them."

"Can’t she put them somewhere?"

Well, sure. I can put them up your ass, sweetums. But that probably wasn’t what you had in mind.