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Ask Dr. Lovemonkey

louse in the house

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

For the past three weeks, my husband hasn’t been coming home. When I confront him about cheating, he claims he was drinking all night. He also complains that he is not getting enough sex, and that I’m always asking him to do things around the house. We’ve been married for three years. I’m eight months pregnant, with a broken leg, and a two-year-old running around the house. I feel very disrespected by this man. I think he is lying, and not man enough to tell me that he’s found someone else. He says he feels like our relationship is not the same as it was four years ago. He says if I showed him more affection, then maybe he would come home. My first sense is to not buy his excuse. What can you tell me?

_Help

Dear Help,

I can tell you, if all you say is true, that this guy is a total turkey. See a divorce lawyer immediately. Get some help, and take care of your leg, your child, and your pregnancy. This husband is irresponsible, and the situation will only get worse if you try to stick it out. What you need to do will be difficult and painful, but you have to do it. Look into agencies in your area designed to help people in your situation. If you have a family that can help, ask for it. Start thinking of plans to put your life back together without this jerk. It will be tough, but you can do it.

reconnection blues

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a 44-year-old divorced guy. I’ve been dating a 37-year-old separated lady for the last 6Ω months. We fell in love early in our relationship, and have been doing great, except for a couple of times. She went to reconcile with her ex twice and that effort failed both times. They have a 15-year-old son. She has told her ex in some detail about our relationship — sex, fun, love, etc. She left her marriage due to his controlling and cheating behavior.

She’s having a hard time, missing the family scene and such. She broke up with me, I suspect, because she was trying to reconcile once again. Do you think they will be successful, considering all this? Do I have a chance to get her back? We were in love and very tight, and she has come back to me twice. What do you think?

_George

Dear George,

Dr. Lovemonkey thinks that you have done your duty as a convenient rebound guy. She’s still confused and torn, and there is very little that you can do about it. For your sake, you have to let her go, and allow her to make some firm decisions. Move on. She is still too deeply connected to her past life, and needs to either make a clean break or get back together with her ex. In this matter, you have no control or say. My best advice is to cut off your relationship with her. She has to sort things out for herself, once and for all.

the dump

Dear Dr, Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend is very cheap. We always seem to have to go 50-50 on everything, or I get stuck picking up the bill. If I want to go out, he says he doesn’t have money, so because I don’t want to stay home, I wind up picking up the bill. I do make a little more than him, but I also have more bills and a daughter. This man never buys me gifts or flowers. I’m getting really tired of this! What should I do?

_Feeling Neglected

Dear Feeling,

Dump his ass.