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Dear Dr. Lovemonkey

I am 18 and a recent high school graduate. A couple of months ago, I slept with a guy at work, and he has not paid attention to me since. I have totally fallen for him. We have known each other since primary school, and he always was shy. Why won’t he speak to me, let alone date me?

_Seriously Disappointed

Dear Seriously,

Your moment with the guy from work was all about sex. He wanted to have sex with you, and you obliged. Apparently, he is not very interested in having a relationship with you. Before jumping into the sack with anyone (even someone you have known at a distance for years), it’s best to get a sense of their interest in you beyond finding the portal to your pants.

meeting the parents

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been seeing this man for a few months. He is 15 years older than me, and has a daughter from his previous marriage. I really like him, but my parents are very unhappy. Though they have not met him, they constantly tell me to stop seeing him. I really would like to develop this relationship. What shall I do?

_L.D.

Dear L.D.,

Your parents are reacting to a situation that, to them, is rife with potential problems: 15 years older, daughter from previous marriage, etc. They have reason to be concerned, especially if you are under 25 and have had limited experience with men. If your new boyfriend is a good match for you, and a good and responsible person, he will be enthusiastic about meeting your parents and family.

Your family should also be interested in meeting him and personally sizing him up, rather than making judgments based on presumptions. They should meet and get to know each other. If your family continues to object, give their opinion some real weight. They have your best interests at heart, and they have experience. Your perspective could be clouded by infatuation. You’ve only been seeing him for a few months. If he’s serious, he will want to win over your family.

yet another genius

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am 20, and I really like my 25-year-old boss. He said he has a girlfriend, but people say otherwise. He told me he liked my body and wanted to sleep with me, and I did so without thinking about it. I really want to be with him, but to him, it was just sex. Now he wants to sleep with me again. One minute he acts nice, as if he likes me, and the next minute he seems to just want my body. I know it is crazy, but I keep thinking that if I continue to sleep with him, he will want more from me than just sex. Do you think what I did was wrong, and do you think it would be wrong for me to sleep with him again?

_Smitten

Dear Smitten,

Yes, you made a mistake sleeping with him, and, yes, it would be a mistake to sleep with him again. To think you can fornicate a man into a full appreciation of you as a human being is truly foolish. If it is your intention to have a true and significant relationship with this man, it ain’t going to happen. Check out the first letter in this column. You are basically in the same situation. The "he said he has a girlfriend, but people say otherwise" line is really rich. He either has a girlfriend or is willing to lie about it to get rid of you. Time to take the hint and get out of there.