"OSLO, Norway — Humanitarian groups criticized McDonald’s for a new sandwich, called the McAfrika, saying the offering is poorly timed because millions of Africans are facing starvation....

McDonalds was stung by bad publicity in the Norwegian media last week when it announced that the new sandwich, made of beef and vegetables and wrapped in pita bread, will be sold at 15 restaurants in Oslo. The sandwich was advertised as being based on African recipes." — Associated Press, August 26, 2002

What’ll they think of next? McScuds? The stories are easy to imagine: "McDonalds was chastised by the punditocracy last week when it announced that the new sandwich, which comes wrapped in a black beret, will be sold at several former UN weapons-inspector bases in Baghdad and environs," the Washington Times reports in a below-the-fold tease. "The sandwich was advertised as causing lively lunchtime discussion between Colin Powell and Paul Wolfowitz."

Or how about the McEnron? CNBC’s bloviating blowhard Jim Cramer would have fun with that one: "Corporate watchdog groups are livid about McDonald’s new 'McEnron!' Having lost their life savings, ex-employees of the bankrupt energy-trading firm are facing the prospect of working until they’re 99! And now Mickey Dee’s has the gall to unveil this new sandwich, made of store-brand bologna and cat food and wrapped in useless stock certificates?! And what about this ad campaign!? 'The McEnron: Worth a lot less than you paid for it.' Aaarrggghh!" (Cramer then turns beet red, before spontaneously combusting.)

Here at home, we wonder when tax-burdened Bay State denizens will lambaste the chain for the McDig, contending that a meal named for an endlessly expensive public-works project is not at all palatable. "The new sandwich, made of pork and served with a few lunchtime Bud Lites, will be sold at an as-yet-undetermined number of restaurants in the Central Artery area," harrumphed the Boston Herald last week. "The sandwich is advertised as the most expensive fast-food item in history. Extra-value meals not available."

McDonald’s R&D whizzes likely assumed they’d come up with a fail-safe sop to the kiddie demographic when they envisioned the McBass value meal (borscht, served with white bread and a 16-ounce Tang) as a tribute to N ’Sync heartthrob Lance Bass’s pending interplanetary journey with Russian cosmonauts. But the Golden Arches were rocked by the bad publicity received from the editors of Tiger Beat magazine, who by no means approve of shooting their squeaky-clean boy toy into orbit with "a bunch of creepy Commies."

And, if reading Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation didn’t give liberal-leaning muckrakers enough reason to get nauseated at the very thought of new offerings from the fast-food giant, the McCoulter, should do the trick. We can see the AP wire now: "McDonald’s was stung by bad publicity in the Nation last week when it announced that the new sandwich, made of sour grapes and venom, and wrapped in the Wall Street Journal editorial page, will be sold at restaurants in the Orange County area. The sandwich is advertised by celebrity pitch-man Rush Limbaugh, who crows that ‘It makes me want to get fat again.'"

Bottom line? The McAfrika is bad. But it could have been worse. Much worse.