E-Mail This Article to a Friend CONSERVATIVES NEED LOVE TOO Hannity plays Cupid BY MIKE MILIARD

The scuttlebutt around the gossip pages and the blogosphere last week that self-proclaimed "9/11 Republican" Ron Silver and shrieking harridan Ann Coulter had been spotted dining together — and might be an item! — had liberals guffawing at the icky perfection of it all. But conservatives must have been swooning: he, the Hardball hard-ass; she, the leggy bombshell with lethal wit.

But why should the Red State royalty have all the fun? What about the jes’ plain folks of Middle America? Enter square-jawed loudmouth Sean Hannity, the Fox News host whose official Web site (www.hannity.com) now features — in addition to the "Hannity Song Club" and "Hannity Funnies" — a Hannity personals page: Hannidate. There, values voters emboldened by W.’s "mandate" can seek partners who share their love of flags, firearms, and faith-based initiatives. (Still, we shudder to think what Sean the shadchen means by "Hannity-style romance.")

The Hannidate site looks pretty much like most other personals pages: photo after photo of white folks, mugging for the camera with guileless grins. Some of these hearts-in-their-eyes hopefuls are clad in red, white, and blue; a disturbing number are posed before faux-nature studio backgrounds. But it’s their personal write-ups that really set them apart. Put simply, these folks know what they want.

Says Mark, featured proudly in striped referee shirt, his mustache and mullet combed: "I am a 49 year old truck driver. Divorced, one daughter, 18, looking for a LADY, 45 to 55 years old, no tattoos, no body piercings except ears, but most importantly NOT LIBERAL (lady and not liberal kind of go hand in hand, don’t they?)."

Krista from Michigan thinks so. "I love this country and I support our President," she writes. "I saw him three times this past year, twice on the campaign trail and once at the inauguration. I cried when Reagan died ... one of my favorite books is ‘I love you, Ronnie’ — Ronald Reagan’s love letters to Nancy Reagan. I want the kind of love that Nancy and Ronald Reagan had."

Our favorite Romeo by far is Dave, who lives perilously close to the hippie haven of Eugene, Oregon. ("I live and work in Junction City, Oregon ... yes there are nice, smart ... red people that live around Eugene!" he jokes.) Dave’s a simple man. His needs are few. And he’s a born romantic. Sadly, Dave probably wouldn’t want Krista, even if she asked nicely. "All I want from this," he writes, "is to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday ..."

Consort with conservatives at www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005.