I don’t know anyone who gives a rat’s ass about Valentine’s Day. Joined-at-the-hip couples usually exchange warnings, not gifts. She says, " Honey, no chocolate — you know I’m dieting, " while he pipes up, " Baby, skip the novelty boxers; the guys at the gym are still ragging on me about the last pair. " For unattached singles, it’s 24 hours of broken-heart-shaped brooding and morose, self-indulgent reminiscing that ends sometime around midnight with a drunken phone call: " An’ another thin’, you lousy shunofabish ... "

Face it: the only people who make out on Valentine’s Day are those at Hallmark, FTD, and Fanny Farmer. What, me cynical? Maybe, but try this one on for size: Sex Day. It’s got a certain ring-your-bell quality that beats " This year, show her how much you love her by spending every last red cent you have, " doesn’t it?

So, from the worlds of adult retail, alternative lifestyles, cyberspace, erotic entertainment, health care, and more, area experts tell us what to expect, sex-wise, in the year to come.

Scratch, President, Black Key Club for Swingers

" Our membership is changing and growing dramatically. The new members are long-time married couples who are looking for change, and young married couples who’ve had little sexual experience except with their partner. They’re not looking to get out of their marriages, but hoping to broaden their experiences. We’re also getting single women in their 30s and 40s who don’t have the time or interest in maintaining a relationship, but they do have appetites and want to be with someone — they just don’t want to compromise their independence. They say, ‘Yes, I want a guy in my bed — just not in my life.’ We’re a lifestyles club. What draws us together, in part, is that we’re all sexually adventurous; what keeps us together is that we have a community. We’re not a hotel. "

Steve Porter, Marketing director, Amazing Superstores adult retail chain

" Seven years ago, we analyzed demographic information and found that 92 to 98 percent of our customers were male. Two years ago, it was a 70/30 split, but our newer stores are closing in on 50/50. I attribute this to changing mores. For me, growing up, the opportunity to watch Saturday Night Live was a racy, adult thing. Compare that with what’s out there today, 10 years’ worth of Internet, cable, etc. People who were 12 then are 22 now, and the fact is, they did not turn into rapists or psychopaths. They turned into smarter consumers. Plus, women are now saying, ‘Why can’t I enjoy sex too? Why is this some guy thing?’ Guys buy visual, but women buy sensual: candles, massage oils, incense, so we’ve opened a new store, the Amazing Boutique, which has no videos, DVDs, or magazines, to meet that growing trend. "

Heather Sankey, Medical director, Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts

" The biggest thing we’re working on is getting the word out about emergency contraception. People have a misunderstanding that it’s like medical abortion, but it’s very different. We’re focusing on the safety and availability. I think that’s an important trend. There are lots of new contraception measures coming out designed to make things easier for women. The new intrauterine systems, such as the Mirena, is like a [traditional] IUD, but it’s good for five years, and reversible. Same with Novaring: it’s a little plastic ring that goes in the vagina for three weeks; you take it out to have your period. It works like birth-control pills, except you don’t have to remember to take it every day; it’s much more reliable for busy women. Next will be a skin patch. The trend is to try to simplify in this hectic time and to prevent more unwanted pregnancies. "

Valerie A. Nadalini, President, Belle de Jour lingerie boutique

" Recognizing that almost one-half of all lingerie purchases are made by men, who do not usually relish shopping, we established Belle de Jour to bring a full-service, consistent, and recognizable presence to this underserved niche. Our concept is to re-create European luxury-lingerie boutiques offering the highest-quality ‘hard-to-find’ lingerie, exceptional service, and an elegant, comfortable environment (yes, even for men!). We also seriously consider the preferences and purchasing styles of both genders and exercise discretion when serving our customers. What’s popular are the newer panty silhouettes such as mesh thongs by Cosabella and Aubade G-strings with silicone straps, so nothing shows when worn with low-rise pants. And anything from Lise Charmel, the ‘Rolls Royce’ of lingerie, known for beautiful laces, exquisite designs, and phenomenal fit. "

Amie Evans, Founder, Princesses of Porn performance group

" In the 20th century, we broke down the shroud surrounding sexuality, and sex was exposed, unveiled, and raw — everything was brought out into the light of day — which was a good thing in many ways, but also reduced sex to the lowest common denominator. What people want now, and what we have the opportunity to offer, harkens back to a time when sexual entertainment was about more than just shock value and nudity. Sophisticated 21st-century audiences want smart, erotic entertainment that turns them on without insulting them, and they want to poke fun at their sexual habits and tastes. The Princesses of Porn, with the Dukes of Dykedom, offer an old-school-style burlesque show combining sexual comedy, flirtatious routines, and cutting-edge literary erotic readings. We play with sexuality, gender, and sex acts, making the kiss as erotic as genital sex. "

Jonathan Appelbaum, Medical director, Fenway Community Health

" We’re seeing more heterosexual women, particularly of color. They’re a group that has been traditionally disadvantaged in access to medical care and education, partly because the programs that evolved after the start of the AIDS epidemic weren’t geared to include them. Only in the last couple of years has outreach started, but it’s difficult. We’re working on collaborative programs through the Department of Public Health to try to serve them better. Also, we’re seeing a resurgence of HIV among men under 25, because they’re tired of hearing about HIV; they just ignore the messages. And the press says we have all these great drugs to treat it. Younger folks think, ‘Hey, it’s not such a bad thing to get HIV.’ They feel they’re invincible. That’s led the educators to think, ‘How can we reach them?’ A lot of people are putting new energy into trying to design prevention programs in order to do just that. "

" Michelle, " Exotic dancer, Glass Slipper strip club

" The opening of Centerfolds has actually helped business because it brings more customers to the area. Since it has a dress code and cover charge, it attracts a nice, upscale crowd. It’s safer now than ever. I tell people that I feel much more secure working in this club than somewhere else. And with the Internet making it more acceptable for people to view nudity, people are beginning to realize that seeing a live show is still much better then staring at a screen. And here, the guys can meet and talk to the dancers, adding a more personal dimension to the experience. People always come back to the Glass Slipper. Lately, more couples are stopping by; they’re pleasantly surprised to see how nice the show really is. "

Gary Kadet, Writer; his short story " Polyamorist " appears in this month’s Playboy

" We’re embarking upon a New Victorianism, where hidden compulsions and desires are catered to by a booming underclass of sex workers and online-chat-room fantasists. As the underground of taboo sex becomes more diverse, enabled yet discreet, the appearance of strict rectitude and conventional familial morality will become even more prized. As with certain US senators, the loudest decriers of smut will be the silent investors in porn entertainment. As always, the rich and powerful will be able to afford the best sex. After years of gratuitous adventuring, sex in art will no longer test the boundaries of taste and social prejudice, or be an act of expressive liberation to challenge First Amendment interpretation. What it will be about is brute usefulness: how to sell it, package it, exploit it in legal and socially acceptable ways at a cash profit to a subtle class breakdown of marketing segments. "

Cecilia Tan, Media director, New England Leather Alliance fetish group

" Even while people lust after the ‘hot new thing,’ they also want the familiar, reliable things. When people ask, ‘What gets me off?’, the answer is likely to be the same thing it was 100 years ago, or 1000 years ago — and that includes dominance and submission. What’s somewhat new in human history is that people are recognizing that now they can play out kinky desires as consensual fantasies, with mutual trust and openness between partners, instead of having to wheedle and manipulate each other into doing what we want. For some people, consensuality is still a pretty remote concept, still on the cutting edge, but it is definitely seeping into the mainstream bit by bit. "

Sanford Wilk, Senior director, Erotic Boulevard online erotic-personals service

" Of the adult matching sites out there, Erotic Boulevard is the largest worldwide and the most cutting-edge in terms of technology. Right now, our unique Sex Grid provides the best comprehensive profile-matching system available, offering clients the means to specify exactly who and what they’re looking for. For the future, we’re developing two very interesting features. First, the ability to put your personal on Erotic Boulevard, plus have it appear in select newspapers across the country. Secondly, we’ll start incorporating SMS [short message service] messaging, which will let you know you have mail from other members even faster than before. Currently, we communicate via e-mail, but soon we’ll notify folks via cell phone: about 90 percent of the phones in the United States are SMS-enabled, and it’s growing more and more each day. "

Kim Airs, Owner, Grand Opening! Sexuality Boutique

" I’ve noticed that vibrators are getting smaller and more powerful. The perfect example is the HoneySpot, which is a toothbrush-size vibe that’s touch-activated and powered by a watch battery. The Japanese make a remote-control vibrator that’s the size of a fingertip and vibrates like crazy! As for classes here at the store, women are definitely taking their own sexuality into their hands — so to speak. The ‘Sex Tips for Girls’ and ‘The Big O’ women-only classes are always filled. And we’ll be having our first class on sex during pregnancy, too. Women are being bolder with asking for what they want outside and behind closed doors. We’re always developing new classes as our customer base becomes more savvy. "

Natasha Savoy, Owner, Salon Nouvelle cross-dressing store

" Men cross-dress because they want to explore a part of themselves that’s kept hidden. The act is exciting and therapeutic for relieving daily stress. Several years ago, I realized that 50 percent of clients who were involved in the dominance/submission scene were actually into cross-dressing. The larger alternative scene offered broad acceptance and addressed some of their needs, but few facilitators focused primarily on transformations. Most of my clients are white, middle-aged, middle-class men, but not all. I’m getting more Asian, black, Hispanic, Indian, and Arab men. They range in age — 20 to 88 — and occupation, from truck drivers to university professors, and want to be transformed, to be carefree and feminine. Cross-dressing is definitely increasing in popularity. Many clients say they’ve always wanted to try this and ‘now is the time.’  "

Suzanne Kammlott can be reached at me@suzannekammlott.com