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Get real, Martha

Does the thought of cooking a goose give you the chills? Can't imagine stuffing peas with crabmeat? Read on.

by Susan Ryan-Vollmar

Let's say you want to have a holiday party. Maybe you've spent the last five years going to other people's parties and now owe about 20 invites to your place. Or you've just set up your first post-college apartment and want to christen it with a grown-up party. Or you've been holed up in the same four rooms for the last 10 years, rarely inviting people over, and you have something to prove.

Whatever the motivation, anyone (this includes you) can host a festive holiday soirée that will sate, entertain, and impress guests. It doesn't have to involve roasting a big hunk of meat in the oven or spending hours stuffing peas with crabmeat. On the other hand, you can't simply dump a bag of tortilla chips into a wooden bowl and slap it onto a table next to an opened jar of salsa. (That's fine for when you have friends over to watch the Super Bowl, but you want something fancier for the holidays.) Happily, there is a comfort zone of entertaining that lies between Martha Stewart and Beavis and Butt-head. What's more, we think we've found it.

Our menu, created by Absolute Feast Catering of Somerville, will serve between 20 and 30 of your nearest and dearest, buffet-style. It'll satisfy vegetarians and carnivores alike. It can be prepared ahead of time (although, if you'd like, you can do everything the day of the party and make this as complicated as possible). And it'll work whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's, Kwanzaa -- or, for that matter, the Super Bowl.

Our instructions make some assumptions: that you can read and follow a recipe, and that you own several pots and pans. We also hope you own or have access to a food processor and mixer. If you don't have enough dinnerware for 20 people (or serving platters for the food), go to China Fair (2100 Mass Ave, Cambridge, 617-864-3050 or 70 Needham Street, Newton, 617-332-1250) for festive paper plates and large plastic serving trays.

One last word: we can't lie -- if your kitchen experience consists of heating up doggie-bag leftovers in the microwave, this isn't going to be easy. It's going to take some planning and organizing on your end. On the other hand, we're not asking the impossible. For that, flip through Martha Stewart Living and try to follow her directions. Then come back to us for some tips on entertaining in the real world.

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The menu

Appetizers
Veggie plate with dip
Cheese plate

Main course
Chicken Marengo
Stuffed shells
Roots and vines

Dessert
Coffee bomb

Wine
Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau, Vega Sindoa Tempranillo/Cabernet Sauvignon, Valdumia Albariño Rias Baixas

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