They're called "Fakesters," faux profiles of such arbitrary entities as celebrities, cities, businesses, lesbian bars, energy drinks, club nights, and dead philosophers scattered throughout the online hipoisie haunt Friendster.com. The city of Boston has inspired its fair share of Fakesters, but one of the best personifications of a local icon is "B Train," a fake Friendster member based on the MBTA's infamous jalopy-like subway line. While the rest of the site's million-plus members are busy pouting in arty black-and-white photos, avowing their fine tastes in cult film, and pledging their affinity to Six Feet Under, B Train ("First name: B Train; last name: MBTA") wants you to know that he (yes, the B Train identifies himself as a single, 71-year-old male) runs from Government Center to Boston College, doesn't really read because "the day I learn to read is the day I stop being a train," and doesn't have much time for the boob tube, since he works 20-hour days. But when the hulking green menace does get home after a long, hard day of giving rides to cute young BU and BC students (that joke runs its course on the B Train's "testimonial" section, where other users can publicly pay tribute to one another), the only programming left on late-night television is "Skin-a-Max and infomercials." In terms of expanding his peer group via online matchmaking, B Train is looking to meet both "people who won't bitch and moan about my new trains" and "cute little Russian ladies with bad teeth." As of mid October, B Train had 139 friends, including Allston, Newbury Comics, Trot Nixon, Manny Ramirez, Burrito Max, and the Charles River. He used to be friends with Cardinal Law and the Citgo Sign, but Friendster founder Jonathan Abrams has publicly declared it his mission to purge all "Fakester" profiles from the site, and Law and the Citgo Sign are among the fallen. No matter -- neither of them was as cool as B Train, whose favorite song is his own onomatopoeia: "Bing, bong/Next stop [insert your stop here]."

Friendster, www.friendster.com.