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Ladies' nights
Five spots for girls to meet girls
BY MICAH BELLIEU

It wasn't long ago that Boston was practically void of places to meet lesbians. The choices in those days? Analyze a sideways glance on the street, or date your ex's ex. Now, however, I can plan a weeklong syllabus around meeting ladies. Sunday through Wednesday I will study for the GRE at Diesel Café (257 Elm Street, Somerville, 617.629.8717, www.diesel-cafe.com). Why cram in a library when you can be distracted quite successfully by cute girls wandering in to play pool, grab coffee and a sandwich, or even better, other girls who came to be distracted? It's quite easy to approach a girl at Diesel: inquire which coffee drink is good, have an "accidental" (but gentle) run-in with your pool cue, or choose the assertive route and lure a certain someone into the photo booth.

After days of math problems - and a permanent crease between my brows - I raise my hands in worship to the god that is Thursday. Oh, the choices Thursday holds! I will explore my inner drag king and head to "Queeraoke" (Midway Café, 3496 Washington Street, Jamaica Plain, 617.524.9038, www.dykenight.com) to dance and "sing." Now, don't freak out; you don't have to dress up, but really, why would you not? There's a fertile supply of wigs, blow-up guitars, and costumes, which can only help if your flirting falls short of worthiness.

Too shy to belt out "Purple Rain" in front of strangers? I choose the ass-shaking door number two: "Tribe" (Club Felt Boston, 533 Washington Street, Boston, 617.350.5555, www.tribenightclub.com), where you can blend into the swaying mass that is a butch-meets-femme heaven. For $5, all your ailments - whether you call them algebra or girl troubles - will fall from your shoulders and onto the floor with a satisfying thud.

By the time Friday comes around, I say to hell with it. I've already forgotten everything I thought I learned throughout the week. So, let's mix up the week with "Dyke Night Goes Retro" (Toast, 70 Union Square, Somerville, 617.623.9211, www.dykenight.com). Make sure you've watched plenty of VH1 Classics before you come, because you'll be hearing all the goodies from the '70s, '80s, and '90s. There's a $5 cover, and for the vast age range that you encounter, it's worth every penny.

Pickings are slim for Saturday nights since "Club Hollywood" (Buzz, 67 Stuart Street, Boston, 617.267.8969, www.shuttavac.com) switched over to a guys' night. Bring $10, your ID, and an open mind, and you might be able to have a sweaty night at the heart-pounding, house-bumping, sex-sprawling two-story location.

After that, I'm off to Diesel on Sunday, where studying is a little less painful, and thus begins another week. I can't wait till Thursday.