IT’S COLORED, IT has a fruity aftertaste, and some of it is even laced with booze. It’s ... water?

Always striving to come up with something, um, fresh, these days the folks who bring you bottled water are enhancing their H2O with a little something extra — from vitamins to caffeine. Think of these cutting-edge refreshments as a functional beverage to go with your functional food: wash down a gingko-infused cookie with some vitamin-infused Wellnesswater, by Glacéau.

Water is " a $6 billion industry, " explains Gary Hemphill, senior vice-president for Beverage Marketing Corporation, an industry group. " Innovation is important. "

Some ideas, though, are a little far-fetched: the folks behind Jolt cola and Martinelli’s have emerged from the lab with DNA, spring water laced with alcohol — sold, appropriately, at liquor stores. " Drinking DNA has the same effect as drinking a beer, " enthuses a company spokesperson, who adds that since the booze is water-based, praying to the porcelain god while in the throes of the almighty hangover is less likely after guzzling pints of DNA. Um, you first.

Then there’s Krank2O, amped-up water containing 100 milligrams of caffeine per 500-milliliter serving. That’s more than your average cup of coffee — or even the ever-scary Mountain Dew. And the harmlessly clear-looking citrus-flavored Reebok Fitness Water is packed with calcium, vitamin B12, and folic acid, among other goodies. But reaping the benefits requires actually drinking the toxic-tasting potion. Get both at 7-Eleven.

While those are the most, shall we say, watered-down takes on the clear stuff, Glacéau also offers up the clarifying Soywater, Vitaminwater, Multi-V Water, Smartwater, and, well, you get the idea. Entertainment Weekly reported last month that the folks behind Sex and the City are so juiced up on Glacéau’s goods, available locally at the Harvard Co-op and Store 24, that they order cases of it for the set.

Flavored, sugared, colored, and chock full of calories — these drinks are not bottled water, says Stephen Kay, the vice-president of communications for the Bottled Water Industry Association. He calls the latest juiced-up waters " acquaceuticals " or " water-based products in a bottle. " And then he refers us to the FDA, to tell on enhanced-water producers for making false claims.

But sipping on a little of Glacéau’s Smartwater while talking with Kay, we decide against it.

Issue Date: August 16-23, 2001