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You’ve been traded: Baseball’s best and worst destinations, part 1
BY CHRISTOPHER YOUNG
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You came up through the system, you’ve made it to the bigs, and you’re happy about your situation on your team. Everything is good, right? Uh, son, can I have a word with you in here? Sure, skip, what’s up? Close the door behind you. Bad news on the doorstep. You’re part of tomorrow’s agate transactions list on the Daily Planet’s sports-scoreboard page. You’ve been dealt, swapped, shipped, shuttled — however you want to put it, your life has been uprooted and your past history is no more. You’re being traded to — Where? Well, where would you like to go? And where would you definitely not want to end up? It’s out of your hands now, but if you have to be part of a trade-deadline package, then here are the 30 Major League Baseball teams, from worst to best, to which you could be headed. 30) Milwaukee. Where do you start? The team hasn’t been in the playoffs since its sole World Series appearance in 1983, nor has it finished higher than third in its division in 11 seasons. A team of no-names with a $40 million payroll, and even two-year-old Miller Park isn’t enough of a draw to get the region’s beer-swillers to hoist a few at the local ball yard. Can you even name a Milwaukee Brewer now, other than Jos. A. Schlitz? Please, for the love of God, don’t send me there! 29) Detroit. The three-year-old stadium’s supposedly pretty nice, but the team that plays in it is putrid. The franchise’s glorious history is way, way in the rear-view mirror, and the history that may be made by this year’s edition is not the kind you like to brag about: the most losses in baseball history. The Tigers are banking on youth in hopes of improving in the coming years, but right now, Motown is no town you want to to partake of professional-baseball glory. 28) Tampa Bay. About the only thing going for this place is the climate — and this is North Florida, so it’s not always tropical — and the fiery veteran manager. Granted, it seems like a promising young team, but with the majors’ lowest payroll, it’s unlikely that ownership will dole out what’s necessary to hold on to these young bucks once they blossom. Add to that the domed stadium and the team’s never-ending history of futility, and this is among the biggest dead-ends in the majors. 27) Florida Marlins. A decent young team that was a World Series champion just six years ago. Unfortunately, now it’s a team that routinely trades away its stars on the brink of stardom and rarely draws more than 10,000 fans a game to its football-stadium home in suburban Miami. The fact that it’s in sunny Southern Florida is obviously a plus, but it rains a lot, and there are too many distractions here for the football-crazed locals to focus on their underpaid baseball team. Which is actually a shame. 26) Pittsburgh. If not for two-year-old PNC Park, there’d be absolutely no reason why this city wouldn’t be even further down the list, if not last. The team hasn’t been competitive since Barry Bonds headed west via free agency, and it too has become an organization that frequently fields a bunch of no-names, or finds itself in the news solely for its flurry of trade activity with the Red Sox. Who wants to go to Pittsburgh? Not former Soxer Freddy Sanchez, but that, unfortunately, is his lot in life now. Our condolences. 25) Montreal. Another team with a promising roster of youngsters, but that plays half its games in either a) an antiquated facility that hasn’t been updated since the 1976 Olympics were held here, or b) a pseudo-minor-league ballpark in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Home games in Puerto Rico — and they outdraw the crowds that deign to show up in Montreal! The team is run by Major League Baseball, therefore you know it’ll never be able to spend properly, and will never be able to attract appealing free agents. There’s a potential for greatness down the road, but the team needs to be sold and relocated for good things to happen. 24) Cincinnati. A brand-new ballpark opened this year, but the same problems remain for the remnants of the Big Red Machine. The team is 10 games under .500, has its lone remaining superstar (Ken Griffey Jr.) consistently hurt, and ownership recently fired the GM, manager, and hitting coach. The team is also dumping salary, as evidenced by Thursday’s trade of Aaron Boone to the Yankees and set-up man Scott Williamson to the Red Sox. Other than that, why wouldn’t anyone want to come to Cincinnati? 23) Cleveland. Never would have believed even two years ago that the Tribe would be this low on the totem pole, but here they are, bereft of fans, talent, and hope, at least for the moment. Jacobs Field is still a draw, but unfortunately the ghosts of Indians teams past are long gone. In their place are the pieces for rebuilding, but that will be a lengthy process. 22) Baltimore. Like the Indians, the O’s have only their jewel of a ballpark, Camden Yards, to draw upon. Ownership long ago screwed up this team, and even its ace, Sidney Ponson, is packing his bags for the West Coast (traded to the Giants) even as we speak. The problems here are too numerous to detail, but it’s a sad state of affairs when a franchise with such a glorious history is relegated to consistent laughingstock status, and there are few major leaguers who would consider Baltimore a promising landing spot right now. 21) New York Mets. The Mets started off the season with the second-highest payroll in the majors, but after yet another disappointing season, New York is dumping salaries and focusing on a complete renovation of the ballclub in the coming years. That doesn’t bode well for an outsider’s attempt to put down roots at nearly 40-year-old Shea Stadium. Chronic underachieving and shenanigans, coupled with shaky ownership and questionable past decisions, have landed the Mets among the also-rans in terms of both the standings and their ability to reel in fresh new talent. 20) San Diego. Remember how the Padres were in the World Series just five years ago? You don’t? Well, they were four-game victims of the pinstripers’ juggernaut in ’98, and things have gone steadily downhill from there. Tony Gwynn’s gone, Lou Merloni’s there instead. That’s about all you need to know. A brand-spankin’-new stadium opens in this beautiful city next year, but that’s about the only factor that lands the Padres even this high in the rankings. PETCO Park, unfortunately, will continue to see more mutts than purebreds roaming the outfield, and the team’s long-suffering fans will soon be howling for some real talent in the (dog) years to come. 19) Chicago White Sox. This is kind of a tough one, since Chicago’s a great town and the White Sox are making a strong bid in the AL Central. Nonetheless, if you’re going to be dealt to Chi-town, you’d most likely rather be send over to the North Side and the Friendly Confines. Cellular One Park is a pretty new stadium, but it doesn’t have much personality to it, and I just don’t see the Pale Hose being a World Series team anytime soon. Sorry, I just don’t. 18) Kansas City. I know, I know. The Royals are in first place in the AL Central and they are the feel-good story in baseball this summer. Unfortunately, recent history has not been kind to the organization, as the team has had losing seasons in each of the last eight years, has collected at least 97 losses in three of the last four campaigns, and lost 100 games last year. I don’t believe that they can even hold on to a playoff berth come September, which should not take away from their efforts to this point. Nonetheless, KC’s payroll is next-to-last in the majors (at $40 million), and ownership does not seem to be willing to pay top dollar to make this team competitive year in and year out. 17) Texas Rangers. The Strangers’ home stadium is a gem, but the days and nights are hot, and therefore playing conditions at the Ballpark at Arlington are hardly optimal. In addition, the team is in serious disarray, with the worst pitching staff in the league anchoring baseball’s fifth-highest payroll. Go figure. One player (A-Rod) accounts for nearly a quarter of the entire team’s payroll, and while he may be worth it, he’s now grumbling that a trade might be better for him and the team’s future development. Maybe he’s right, but if he leaves, and Juan Gonzalez also leaves via free agency as expected, what’s left? One awful team, that’s what, which is difficult to imagine considering the team is already on a pace to lose at least 90 games. 16) Colorado. Nothing really bad to say about Denver and its team, just nothing really good, either. The Rockies are a perennial .500 team or worse, and though they are a game over .500 heading into the weekend, there are still three teams ahead of them in the NL West standings, and the Rocks are nearly 14 games out. Maybe they’ll improve in the coming years — who knows? But Rockies fans are starting to seem a little bit like Cubs fans: come out to the park, have a good time, but don’t get your undies in a twist if the team doesn’t win. The fans’ expectations are so low to begin with that they’re unlikely to be disappointed. 15) Anaheim. Whoa. Ten months removed from a World Series championship, and Anaheim is at the midpoint of preferred destinations? Unfortunately, it’s become pretty much confirmed that the Angels, like the Patriots, Ravens, and Marlins before them, are looking like one-year wonders. The team, which has struggled with injuries and subpar performances, has fallen 13 games behind the AL West–leading Mariners, and is just 52-54 heading into a weekend series with the also-fading Blue Jays. And in the midst of a three-game home sweep at the hands of the Yankees, Anaheim management decided to release hurler Kevin Appier, thereby choosing to eat $16 million and a full year of his contract rather than continue on with the underachieving (7-7, 5.63) righty. On the offensive side, not much thunder in those sticks lately, thereby explaining why the Angels are quickly becoming also-rans on the heels of their 2002 Cinderella season. The top 14 trading destinations will be posted in Monday’s column. In the meantime, enjoy Dexy’s Midnight Runners, and don’t forget to tip your waitress. Come on, Eileen, it’s time to call it a night. "Sporting Eye" runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com. Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com
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